Read Eleventh Hour by Catherine Coulter Free Online
Book Title: Eleventh Hour|
The author of the book: Catherine Coulter
Edition: Jove Books
Date of issue: June 1st 2003
Loaded: 2557 times
Reader ratings: 3.8
ISBN 13: 9781101214640
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 449 KB
City - Country: No data
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My lameness continues as I pick up yet another book from Dr. Shephard's office bookshelf (why a book like this is on his office bookshelf I have no idea). After that, I saw all the bad reviews, but determined to plow ahead anyway. Maybe it would be different? *fingers crossed*
Father Michael Joseph is shot in the head while in a confessional. His identical twin brother, FBI agent Dane Carver, travels to San Francisco to determine who killed him and why. His answers are partially hidden in the only witness, a young homeless woman who calls herself Nick Jones. As they discover that the mysteries surround a new television series, Dane discovers that Nick isn't who she says she is.
I'll admit that the first 60 or so pages had me tight. The crisp detailed writing drew me in as Father Michael Joseph was killed and his brother came to uncover the truth. And the action scene at the end (well, pretty much the only one in this snoozer)--that was pretty intense too.
Speaking of Father Michael Joseph, I really liked this guy, although you only see him for about 10 pages. I was really upset to see him die and half-heartedly wished that the author could have delved more into his point of view. Also, I can totally sympathize with Dane Carver's predicament. I happen to be very fond of my sister in the same way he is with his brother. I can completely understand how upset and distraught he is when he discovers his brother is dead.
Lastly, I was amused and impressed when Savich interviewed Milton McGuffey. This was well-written and well played out by the characters.
Oh, dear, where do I begin? There are about a million things wrong in this book but I will try to condense it from its original four page format.
The first major problem (at least 50%) is Nick Jones. The book was really good until she walks into the police station and faints at seeing Dane ("Is this a Harlequin romance or a thriller?"). Then when talking to Delion and Dane, she says, "He was holding a big, ugly gun in his hand" ("Huh? Is she a six year old?" I ask, as I wipe tears of laughter from my face). We discover that this is actually a highly educated medieval history professor who happens to be one of the most overdramatic women in the history of mankind (fainting, gagging, gasping, clutching her stomach, dropping hair dryers, crying her eyes out) and who says the stupidest things pretty much all the time (Is this woman a retard?).
And then there's her attachment to Father Michael Joseph. She acts like she's known him years, not weeks. I know that if I were Nick, I would most definitely be disturbed, but not nearly as freaked out and weepy as she is over his death. She isn't his sister after all.
Next, little Ms. Mary Sue then proceeds to be involved in almost the entire investigation. I could understand some of her tagging along with the SFPD and FBI agents as she is an eye witness, but I can't understand why they continually include her in on their discussions, drag her along to interviews with other suspects (which, I would think, would only heightens her chances of being killed), and allow her to aid in interviewing the suspects. This woman is a history major; let's stop pretending that she is an investigator, please.
When Nick isn't playing an investigator, she's throwing a hissy-fit about people asking her questions. I mean, why should the FBI ask her something that she doesn't want to answer? They should be sensitive of her feelings--even if she is the primary witness to a crime (and no one questions Nick's story one bit). Not.
At this point, it becomes clear that Nick Jones's purpose is not to make sense but to fall in love with Dane Carver, a man whose pocketbook is definitely larger than his brain as he has no qualms about continually shelling out money for clothes, makeup and beauty supplies for Ms Jones, who has tried to run away no less than twice and has lied more times than she has strands of hair. I mean, that is exactly what I would do. Give my entire life's savings to a woman who is always running away. Not.
And these two lovebirds have the chemistry of rotting leaves. Coulter cops out of developing real chemistry by throwing two people together in the same hotel, shoveling crappy dialogue in their mouths, writing them making love in the middle of an expository scene, and having them giggling about getting married after knowing each other all of one week. It's amazing how Nick quickly gets over her fiancé (whom she has know for three years--it's crazy how easily she blames him with wanting to kill her) with almost no regrets.
The next highest portion of problems (~30%) is just plain poor writing. After reading this book, I wondered how this woman ever got published. She uses absolutely no transitions, so you have no idea if time is passing or if it isn't, if a character has entered the room, or if the scene has changed. Need examples? Here are a few (these are only a small sampling):
* Page 92: Paragraph 1: Dane is leaving a viewing of a TV episode because he couldn't bear it anymore; paragraph 2, Delion suddenly pops out and brings him up to date.
* Pages 118 - 119: Watch how Sherlock and Delion suddenly appear after Savich downs the man who shoots Nick. The only clue that they follow after Dane and co.? They start spouting dialogue.
* Pages 170 - 175: In the hotel room, Dane and Nick leave to eat, and she picks up her coat but not one word is spent on how they walk to the car. Suddenly (page 174), they enter the Grand Am that must have appeared in the hotel room.
How hard would it have been to write "a few minutes passed"? How difficult was it to describe two people walking to a car or to say "Sherlock rushed towards Savich, Delion close behind"?
The prose is not the only lacking component. Coulter cannot write conceivable dialogue. Some of the things characters talk about (primarily during interviews): how expensive Delion's shoes are (page 54), how great Savich is at tackling a man who tried to kill Nick (page 119), Sherlock's irrelevant comments about pictures of her son (page 230), Nick's fabulous "big, ugly gun" comment (page 41), getting laid (pages 147 - 152), or how "in love" Dane and Nick are (page 300). Then, the investigators never ask the important questions (choosing instead to ask subjects "Do you want to see pictures of my son?") and jump to conveniently correct conclusions without a shred of evidence (something that no real-world professional would be able to justify). In fact, most of the dialogue (especially Sherlock's) comes off as sounding about as intelligent as a seven year old. Although she's only a medieval history professor, Nick sometimes asks the best questions (no wonder these Keystone cops have her tag along!).
Lastly, Coulter throws character viewpoints higgledy piggledy throughout the book with no chapter or section break, making it difficult to tell who is thinking what.
The last major component (~20%) is devoted to bad characters/plot. As for characters, they don't get much better than Nick--they are, at best, one dimensional and defined by one or maybe two words. Sherlock doesn't want anything more than to show pictures of her child. Savich wants to get laid with his wife. Flynn loves basketball, and everything he does revolves around this . Belinda's body is so gorgeous the men--including the married ones--ogle her. Dane is moody over his brother's death. A bodyguard is described as not ever talking yet talks in the very next sentence (page 101). And the description of a serial killer--laughable.
The plot, a very important aspect to a normal thriller, is just a blended concoction of random events. I can just hear Coulter's thought process: Oh, I gotta find a place for this motorcycle attack--let's put it after Nick's second attempt at running away. How are my readers going to find out about Nick's past? Oh, here's a good empty spot for a sudden flashback. There's not enough romance between Dane and Nick--let's make Nick concerned about Dane now that he is injured. Already did that? Oh, let's have them make love! Who cares if it makes no sense in the story, it'll be cool. There is little action, little suspense here, just a bunch of talking. And the ending--strange. I won't go too far (in case you read this junk), but I thought the main story was about the Father's death--so why does that mystery end 40 pages before the book is over? The only thing holding this together is the glue that it was bound with.
S***, d***, h***, ba****d and a spattering of our favorite F-word are not uncommon. Sexual situations include mentioning how sexually active some of the suspects are, a woman wearing a bikini that turns men on, an uncomfortable Dane and Nick lovemaking scene, and recounting Savich and Sherlock's sex life. Violence includes a man being garroted, Father Michael Joseph's death, an almost hit-and-run, an agent being shot, a suicide, a serial killer, and some struggles between unarmed combatants (yep, you guessed it: Nick and Dane).
This book made me so aggravated, I wanted to write more. However, if I did, my review would be longer than Coulter's book. How does this woman get published? She writes worse than my sister, who is just now in her first college writing class.
One reader said the problem was Coulter tried to make this a mystery and a romance. I agree. Coulter tries both in here and comes up with a rancid mix of no thrills (Why is this called "Eleventh Hour" if there is no race to find anything?) and a romance consisting of a couple who make Anakin and Padme in Attack of the Clones look like they were the next Romeo and Juliet.
I sincerely doubt that I will ever read another Catherine Coulter or if I do, it will be a very long time from now. This book is going directly to the used bookstore (guess I'll be more careful before I pick something off Dr. Jack Shephard's bookshelf).
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